I thought I’d paced myself just right, ambling slow uphill restrained, polite
To where you smiled and waited for me To show up again – there’s an again! amen! – To reclaim a solitary longitude of territory that’s ours, Montana Soul creeps along real slow I pretend not to hurry I blush that Montana knows my secret About how I rush, unrepentant, to puff breath on the spark Lighting that peace inferno We combust again and again Exploding clear Into each other Into One light’s brilliant flares I’m not down-tempo enough I’m breathing too heavy on the last push up to a black ink new moon sky where you Breathed unhurried, easy, slow, patient about me (What in heaven do you see in me, Montana, and why do you wait? Are you dodging my question? Am I not listening close? Is my heart big enough for all this? Loving you less is no answer.) I pause long, impatient, pulling in air Catching breath catching breath catching breath Breath lands and I can bow under the stars to tell the truth (I have to ask you this one thing fast now I want to know if all your light is invisible some times? Is that my poor eyesight? Do you take cover behind a spiral galaxy hidden too low in the north sky on nights I need you most?) Soles decipher Rocky Mountain land braille I memorized these jagged stone steps thick with tangled twigs and pine needles When I wasn’t thinking I didn’t used to know there was memory in feet After too many hundred days and million steps away from home condoning illusion’s most uncomfortable extremes The soul of my soles recalls every contour sculpted over cool jagged bone landmarks In one heartbeat every sharp edge visited since our last tango turns soft I arrive, and I faint Yielding into you Dizzy in circle space seeing through your eyes again Montana So we can look up together through night mind’s clear dome Montana wraps us up tight and soft, Rolling and rumbling me back good and alive again I see everything here with no eyes of my own I feel e v e r y Thing All night long This is what a galaxy feels like from the inside Dissembled particles reconfigured into every flawless quality of Love A shutter's shudder is how fast these sacred nights come and go I’m that guest whose excuse for leaving teeters On a lie tipped so ancient it should have disintegrated a million steps ago (I glanced at my right arm on Thursday Slivers of Montana's shrapnel still wedged blue and black there Bruise souvenirs Thank you for those parting gifts) Today I remembered how Montana floated my two arms up far above my head Volunteering me twice If I don't start seeing my own light soon I'll outstretch again for another breath to bow another shared Amen To repeat a new blessed benediction And a fresh slow dance under God particles That shower painted glitter heaven lights all over us Under this One big dark blue sky |